Hazia’s Reflections

This week flew even faster than the rest. Before I knew it, Friday was here and the evening surprised me with an unusual hors d’oeuvre.

It was a week to my best friend’s wedding and he finally relented to answering the one question that has been bugging me eversince I found out about his engagement. He finally told me why ke kept it a secret from me and led me on to believe that he was still single and available. I thought it was just a dramatic coincidence that his fiance happened to walk in into his office at 5pm sharp, right after he unveiled that important piece of information. So, we had to stop chatting.

The Voyage…

I then continued working for a while, noticing that my Managing Director (MD) has started her usual up and down pacing near by cubicle. That was a sign that if I didn’t get out of the office soon, she would throw me out. This seemed to happen more and more often lately, similar to my first few months on the job. Have I fallen in love with my work again?

Going back in time, I bumped into my MD (or rather I plotted to bump into her) during an important PR professionals meeting on Valentine’s Day 2005. Without checking out my background or looking at my CV, she offered me a senior post before I could even bring up career matters. This was within less than five minutes of conversation during our very first encounter. She based her decision purely on her gut-feel. That was a huge leapt for me, I didn’t think I qualify, several people I looked up to didn’t think I did either. Therefore, I worked my ass off as soon as I started to ensure that I meet the expectation required of that level.

Broken Compass…

Two close-door sessions with my MD revealed that I had overdone it. She practically asked me to slow down and let go a bit. She said I had a need to be perfect, I was in a hurry to master too many things and I moved too fast. In short, she shook my balance and focus, it took me a while to get a grasp on things. Of course, she had that bird-eye view which I didn’t have at that time, so I detested her for making me questioned everything. Nevertheless, I knew that after all was said and done, in years to come I would thank her.

Didn’t know what to do with the excess energy, I decided to turn the spotlight to my personal life. I’ve found so many unfamiliar avenues, new doors. I have opened and closed all of them in the last nine months. In fact, yesterday was especially significant as it saw me shutting the last of the doors that was still open from I first embarked onto this path. I think nine months were sufficient, a baby could be conceived and delivered within this period.

Before moving on, I did a 360 degree-turn to ensure that there was no more open door. There was one more but this particular door was different… unique, original. I came accross it by chance, not by plan like the rest. I didn’t normally put things on hold as I didn’t like loose ends. But I was willing to make an exception this time. Let it remain open for a while;)

Round the Globe…

Suddenly, I was jerked back to the present by MD’s voice. I had forwarded a friend of a friend’s CV to her. She agreed with me that this was not the ideal candidate, too many short-term employments. While many of our competitors were down-sizing and struggling, a few of them were hiring. I felt guilty turning down numerous job offers from another MD, seemed like a luxury to me until now. I still remember a time when I was a junior and desperate for a good job. When did all this change?

Unexpectedly, my MD went on to share some good news on four new business development wins. It had been an exceptional year for our firm, the manpower size has doubled in only one year and yet we still need new people. Her excitement showed that she noticed that I was back. Amazingly, after taking the BIZZARE TRIP that she had forced onto me late last year, I have returned! I WAS BACK 100%. I felt like I have grown up a lot in a short period of time. Definitely no regrets!

I then packed my stuff and shut down my laptop to go home. Eversince a few years ago, I made it a point to arrange a social dinner every Friday to guarantee that I didn’t work late. However, none of my friends was in town this weekend. Neither were my parents. With this, I arrived home early, feeling kind of strange to be in on a Friday night:)

I definitely look forward to a new chapter in my life:D