My Haj 8: Tudung - To wear or not to wear?
January 26, 2007 by haziamyperspective
I just came back from my uncle’s place. Malam Jumaat - he had a solat Isyak and ‘baca Yassin’ session to send off my cousin who’s pursuing his study in Australia.
That was the first family gathering held after I returned from Haj. As we were about to leave, my uncle jokingly asked me - ‘Eh Hajjah muda, kenapa buka tudung cepat sangat? Tunggu la 40 hari dulu.’ (Why did you remove your head cover so soon? You should wait 40 days first).
Hmm…Why? When I returned from Umrah in 2004, I considered wearing tudung. However, I was working at a hotel and the dresscode did not allow that. So, I resorted to covering up outside office hours only. My, that was so confusing! I felt like I was leading a double life.
For instance, what about weekend colleagues’ gathering? Or when I was casually dining at the hotel with my family in the evenings? How do I dress? I felt pressured. I actually have a friend who has been 
doing the opposite for 10 years (tudung at the office and bare head otherwise). Wonder how she does it.
Nevertheless, I then realised that it was a drastic decision and I was not really ready. So, I stopped wearing it. I’ve seen how steadily a few of my friends progressed e.g. go deeper into the religion, then wear tudung, then go for Umrah, then prepared for Haj, etc.
Most women in my family (mother’s side) started wearing tudung at a late age ie. above 55. My mother didn’t wear tudung until 1 Haj and 3 Umrah later; my father wasn’t into it. She did her first Haj at 36 but only donned the tudung at 59. Because of that, she was too embarassed to use her Hajjah tittle for 23 years. Well, I’m not going to repeat her mistake. Getting the title was a challenge in the first place, why should you hide it?
Don’t get me wrong. I do intend to cover up when I’m ready. Furthermore, I don’t just want to wear those fancy, almost transparent tudung. Sorry to say this but I think the tedious colour coodination and fashion attract more attention. I mean Malay guys turn to look at me when I wear tudung, but they don’t normally do otherwise, hehe…
But of course, if I get married and my husband wants me to cover up, then it’s a different matter altogether:)
Hey. I was the last one in my family to don the tudung. Noone could make me don the tudung except myself. hehe. I was convinced to wear after a soul-searching encounter with Ahmad Deedat. May Allah bless his soul. It wasn’t easy. It felt like leading a double life. But slowly… I realised that the tudung actually changed my lifestyle for the better.
I know a couple of friends who don the tudung for their boyfriends or husbands. I guess sometimes people do it for the love of others which is perfectly all right. But I am always cynical of men who likes me for my tudung or baju kurung. I always tell them I have loads in my drawer if they want. Sorry.. but it hurts my ego lah. Like I am worth a $20 tudung. hehehe….. Do it when you are ready girl…. with all your heart. All the best!
Hehe…right on!
Oh, BTW, I mean husband only, not bf - berganda-ganda la dosa if tak pakai.
appreciation you, apathetic position, added to favorites.
I should say that haziamyperspective.blog.friendster.com has lots of interesting information. Looks like the author did a good job. I will be coming back to haziamyperspective.blog.friendster.com for new information. Thank you.