Hazia’s Reflections

‘Worrying is not productive. It doesn’t help him at all.’

‘We often don’t realise the power of our prayers.’

‘Keep yourself busy. Get on with your life and hope for the best.’

‘They have good hospitals in Houston. He’s in good hands.’

‘I imagine things will be resolved within a day or two.’

‘Don’t go unless your relationship is better defined.’

‘You love him and he loves you, he will pull through.’

‘I think you both are meant to be with each other. Hang on to that vision you had.’

‘Tawakkal.’

It is obvious that Allah has decided to delay our first meeting a little bit longer. Insyallah, with US’ advance technology and all the attention, I hope Ad will recover quickly.

I doubt that he would be able to travel much within the next few months though. June doesn’t seem likely right now. Nevertheless, I believe that true love waits…

During our last chat on Friday, I remember Ad saying, ‘Take care and will keep in touch." That was 9 hours before Al called me to say that he was already semi-paralyzed, and 12 hours before he had gone into a coma. I am so grateful that he is even alive. Alhamdulillah.

I’m coping okay. Only my body is slowly showing ’signs’. I have the worst mouth ulcer ever (even underneath my tongue) since a few days ago. I also got my period 2 weeks early; it hadn’t happened since I was 13 or 14.

On top of all this, I’m leaving for my company’s trip to Sri Lanka on Saturday morning. I figured that I could use the distraction, and some fresh air.

That plus the fact that if I wanted to pull out, I have to tell my boss the reason. Yes, I do have a solid, airtight reason not to go. However, I’ve never shared my private life with anyone at the office and I don’t intend to start doing so now. I’d rather suffer in silence.

By the time the doctors advise them on the next move, I’ll be back already. I asked Al to keep in touch and keep me updated. Al said that Ad has been taking too many risks lately. And he’s been sheltering all his loved ones from potential bad news too often. I realised that too.

Yes, I told him Ad and I were just friends, but any idiot could see that we were so much more than that. I mean we were in contact almost everyday for the last 7 months. I could account for his life during that period if need be. I keep our daily chat scripts, remember?

And yes, I shall visit Ad in the US as soon as I have his permission/consent. Trust me, it is crucial that I talk/chat with him first before I make that move.

Last but not least, I hope that his second near death experience would bring him closer to God. Insyallah.