Hazia’s Reflections

‘You can’t erase your mistakes. So, you should make the best out of it. Since people would choose to see the negative sides of everything you do, why not turn the situation to your benefit. Make as many mistakes as you can and learn from the consequences. Let this place be your testing ground, a place to prepare for a better future.’

Yeah, I had a long conversation with my friend just now. She used the right term - a TESTING GROUND. If I don’t adopt that thinking, I could head towards a nervous breakdown.

One gravely unpleasant encounter after another. Top it with my immediate superior (IS) shallowness and tendency to jump to conclusion based on 1 person or 1 group’s feedback and then, jumped on me. Just like all jobs, regardless of how good you think your performance is, it has no value if the person who appraises you does not share the same view. Another disadvantage that I have is that IS wasn’t involved at all in my recruitment.

And now, someone has just added another ‘black feather to my cap.’ It all started well a few days ago. My dream finally came true. The ‘torn in my butt’ new staff that I hired myself tendered her resignation after two months onboard. She was damn arrogant, refused to look at me when I spoke to her and she had this defiant look on. Since she first came on board, she had all sorts of craps & problems. I’ve had enough.

Unfortunately, I was too caught up in my busy-ness to notice one deadly development. She worked hard to make herself look good to the other departments and socialised all out with them to make them like her - all before making her dramatic departure. In her exit interview, she blamed everything on me. That really fired IS up.

She wanted to talk to me yesterday to get everything off her chestI I told her straight off what I thought and what the others thought of her. That she didn’t utilised her skills and expertise despite having held a senior position before. Also, she was reluctant to take on responsibilities. Anyway, I apologised to her if I had done anything wrong, nothing to lose in doing that. She ended up doing the same. A few minutes ago, I even contemplated asking her to stay. She hasn’t got another job yet. I guess I wasn’t as tough I thought. No! Don’t make hasty decision, especially since I already have her replacement, an internal candidate, a soothing-to-look-at religious guy.

My 2 senior staffs also took the opportunity to make me the scape goat. They complained about her all the time, that she wasn’t pulling her weight and they had to work harder. However, they secretly gave her the impression that they were ok with her. Whoa! It was good that she wanted to talk to me. She was so emotional about it too. Now, both of us knows the ‘other part of the truth’. I tested the water & threw darts here & there to each of them separately. One ’sweat’ while the other avoided eye-contacts, so… they were definitely guilty as charged! Children!

Hell, hiring her was a really big mistake!! Testing ground indeed. I have to remember a lesson that I learned in the hotel industry - ‘Expand your circle of influence & reduce your circle of concern.’ In layman terms, don’t listen to people’s negative remarks. It will bring you down.

Let them ‘answer’ in akhirat. God is fair.