Hazia’s Reflections

The night continued into the wee hours of the morning. I think it was already 4.00 am when I decided to ‘test’ him about his alleged fiance. Well, during our first date, I’ve already asked several questions on his availability status eg is he single, is he seeing anybody, etc. The answer was clear - there is nobody at the moment. So, you see how my friend’s statement bothered me.

I rambled about the jerks in my life who have come and gone (most especially on Wan who didn’t tell me that he was already engaged). I was brief, mind you, but being the sharp listener that he was, nothing escaped him. He asked me if I hated men. Quoting blogger Pugly, I told him ‘No. I don’t hate men, I just don’t think much of them.’

The tactic worked. On the way to send me home, he ‘cracked’. He told me actually he was engaged to a woman from a high-profile, scandalous family more than a year ago. Her family was so nice to him, especially her father. He broke it off because she wanted him to be dependent on her (financially) so that she could control him. At first, he didn’t want to tell me - that was past tense and we’d only known each other for a week. My dialogue made him feel guilty, that if I found out from other sources, I won’t think good of him. Hmm…

Before reaching the gate to my condo, he pulled the car to the side. Ehm, I thought we were done, it was already 6.30am. I was satisified with his explanation and was about to go down. That was when he really cracked, I could feel all sort of emotions coming out from him. Yeah, it was confusing, I was confused too. We were out for business  two days ago and before we knew it, we were on our second date. We enjoyed each other’s company a lot and definitely wanted to see more of each other. And he said he’d learned so much in the brief period that he knew me.

He cautioned me that what he wanted to say might sound silly in the morning but if he didn’t - he’d just keep his distance and I won’t know why, and I would hate him for it. So, he would rather make a fool out of himself for trying to let it out. He rambled for a while about how he feel about me and I kept waiting for the ‘BUT..’ at the end of his sentences, but it didn’t come:)Silly me:p.

What’s more confusing was my friend aka his boss’ motive. When she first mentioned her new designer to me, she said he was cute, a gentleman, ala Eurasian and inteligent. It sounded more like she was offering an escort service. She let him dealt with me without her presence, that was unusual for her. He was torn in between. At one point, he was angry at her for ‘pimping’ him to me to get more business, seemed like it. At another, he thought we should thank her for bringing us together. I told him that it was God who brought us together.

And I shared my plans on how to separate things - business and pleasure. It was miraculous that I’d managed to think of one within minutes. If we move further and become more than friends, I don’t want anything to get in the way. He was amazed on how clear my mind was, his was a wreck. Well, I told him, my priority was simple. There was no way I was going to let my job get in the way of my personal life. That got him worried. He told me he was not perfect, he might not be able to meet my expectation. I assured him that I didn’t think he was perfect, but I do think that he is very genuine. And I like that. I also appreciate his extremely long attention span. He could listen to me for hours, with full concentration and remember what I said too.

I had to reveal the fact that last year, I was ready to give up my career altogether (he wanted to know the details but I wasn’t ready to talk about it). So, I assured him that it was not his doing at all. He was relieved when I said we should just let nature run its course:)

We then adjourned to Devi’s Corner for an early breakfast and talked some more. He admited his worries with his boss aka my friend. That was when I realised how tough it was for an employee to handle her. He has his points. I asked him to be frank and be firm. He is such a soft spoken guy, if he turns firm, that would snap her attention.

Looking at the whole picture, even if my friend did set us up, how could two inteligent people fall into a situation like this? The whole affair was just so twistedly funny that I could not help laughing at the end. He warned me not to write about it though:p.

He finally dropped me off at 8.00am. It was the back gate, so he asked me to go in before he drove away, all the while turning back to look at me. He was off to babysit his 2 kids, his ex-wife had to attend a day course. He later text me that he had arrived safely and it was time for me to go to sleep. Funnily, when I got up to my condo unit, I realised that I forgot to tell my brother not to lock the door from the inside. However, by the time I got there, he had locked it the previous night and unlocked again that morning. LOL!