Hazia’s Reflections

As I clocked out of the office at 6pm yesterday, I felt like I’ve hit the jackpot. Yeah, I rarely get a free weekend these days, or a worry-free one, and it has been a while since I got to leave the office before Maghrib.

I managed to catch up on my alumnus yahoo mailing. One of our friends’ father had just had a stroke. He ate 5 ulas of Durian the night before. That triggered a chain of reactions from others who have had similar experience with their parents. They tried all sorts of treatments, Western and traditional, and a combination of both is deemed as best. Some were lucky that their parents survived, while others did not make it. With that came guilt, they wanted to call but didn’t, or they didn’t fulfil their parents last request, etc. Others were glad that they got a chance to take care of their parents while they were sick.

One touching incidence - a friend went back to his parents house and found that his father had been lying on the floor next to the bathroom for 2 days. He had stroke earlier and was not strong, therefore, he slipped in the bathroom and broke his arm. His parents didn’t want to call an ambulance, they didn’t want the whole neighbourhood to know. So, they asked him to come home and lift his father up. Naturally, he was furious.

I still admire my ex-roommate’s strength though. Both of her parents are much older and have been sick for years. 8 years back, she took a year off to nurse her father who had stroke. She had a few older siblings who took turn, but being the youngest and only single, she thought it was best that she shouldered the most responsibility. Then, she realised that no one person could do it all, she fell into a depression. She said it is still best that the responsibilty is shared.

Her father had stroke a few more times after that and moves around in a wheelchair. Now, her mother is semi-concious after hemodialysis for kidney failure. On top of that, she just had a promotion and is on probation for 6 months. She could not take leave as her public housing project is due, and she has a few more crucial projects too.

Well, I was too young to digest when my late grandmother had stroke, and she didn’t suffer for long too. And I have to admit that my exposure, or almost exposure, with stroke was limited to the ‘fracas with Ad’. Come to think of it, I still don’t have enough material for my book, on real life cases of stroke survivors in their late 30s.